1 00:00:01,033 --> 00:00:02,200 And then, you know, 2 00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,000 and then John came to me and he said, "You know, I love this." 3 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:07,167 "You know, we should call that song 'Get Fucked'." 4 00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:09,700 And I was like, "No, we should call it 'Get Back'." 5 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,400 So, that's what we did. Yeah, yeah. 6 00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:16,400 That's an anecdote from me, Sir Paul, 7 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,367 you know, the greatest ever Beatle. 8 00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:19,867 Still alive. The only one. 9 00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,167 Apart from Ringo, but no one cares. 10 00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:23,667 That's his voice. -[Megan] Oh my God, Ash! 11 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,500 - Oh, whoa, you right, mate? - Ash, have you seen this? 12 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,033 Wait.-Oi, we could have been doing anything. 13 00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:29,100 No, I heard what you were doing. The voices. 14 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,267 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 15 00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:31,933 - Oh, righto. - Oh, whoa, okay, boobies. 16 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,867 Oh, no, look, it's nothing he hasn't seen before. 17 00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,467 Really? You two? 18 00:00:36,567 --> 00:00:37,867 - Oh, mate... - Mate, a million years ago. 19 00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,333 Ancient history. Ancient Greece. 20 00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:41,100 You've got to look at it. Look at it. -Okay, Ash, Ash, look at this. 21 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,300 - What are we...? - I wouldn't say 22 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,367 that I was a Christ figure necessarily. 23 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,867 Oh, this guy's fucked. 24 00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:47,033 I do... 25 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,867 Actually, yeah. 26 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:50,967 Oh my God. 27 00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,533 - Is this now? Mm-hmm. 28 00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,000 I'm the only one asking him anything. There's like four people watching. 29 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,600 Well, fuckin' stop it. Does he know it's you? 30 00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:57,833 - Nup. Wait, I got one. 31 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,367 Do I get eczema? 32 00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:00,767 Oh, that... 33 00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,600 Look, I do sometimes get a slight heat rash on my upper thighs 34 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,000 - after a too warm shower. Mate. 35 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:05,967 Don't tell us that. 36 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,767 - Lee. - More questions, please. 37 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,867 Honestly, you can ask me anything. 38 00:01:09,967 --> 00:01:12,000 I mean, was it just the once? 39 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,267 - What? - What? 40 00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:16,233 Was it just the once that he got eczema? Ask him. 41 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,733 Mum, is Lee with you? 42 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,333 Yes, he's upstairs. Why? 43 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:44,067 He's doing a live Ask Me Anything. I thought he was off the internet. 44 00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,867 Oh, he's only allowed on for 20 minutes, darling. 45 00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:48,400 He's been on for hours, Mum. 46 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,000 It's embarrassing. Megan's fucking with him. 47 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,133 Lee? 48 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,033 Lee! 49 00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,367 I-- I'm busy! 50 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,167 G'day! 51 00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,133 Strange man. 52 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,067 There's-- strange man. 53 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,700 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not strange. 54 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,567 I've, ah... got the rock key. 55 00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,033 Oh. Mum, I've gotta go. 56 00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:07,000 I'll stay on the line. Have you got your rape whistle? 57 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,500 No, no. It's okay. I'll call you later. 58 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,500 Look, if you can't speak, 59 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,700 say, "Yes, bananas are in season, 60 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,533 and I know a very good farmer." 61 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,833 Mum, that is way too long. 62 00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,033 I'll call you later. Bye. 63 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,600 Sorry. I'm Heavy. 64 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:19,533 Flash's brother. 65 00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:21,400 - Oh... Okay? 66 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,333 - Right? - Oh... right... 67 00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:24,267 Come on, bring it in. 68 00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,267 - Oh, all right. Hey. - Hey. 69 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:28,900 Yeah... 70 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,500 Good? - Yes. 71 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,467 Okay. 72 00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:33,067 - Yeah. - Yeah. 73 00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:35,033 All right. So, you're the cleaner, are you? 74 00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:37,100 Place looks fantastic. 75 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,167 - No. - Oh, okay. 76 00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:41,467 So, ah, Gordon's actually at work right now, so... 77 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:42,433 Oh, is he? 78 00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,700 Ugh, fuck. He's got a mind like a sieve. 79 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,500 He is expecting me. 80 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,800 Is he? - Yeah. Yeah. 81 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,600 Yeah. And you said your name's Heavy? 82 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:50,867 Alistair. 83 00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:52,833 - Oh. - Stair. Stairway. 84 00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:54,033 Stairway to Heaven. 85 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,033 Evanesce. 86 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,433 - Heavy. - Ah. 87 00:02:57,533 --> 00:02:59,600 Also, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother." 88 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:00,633 Works on a few levels. 89 00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:01,800 So many levels. 90 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,233 Yeah. - Yeah. 91 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,233 - It's pretty cool. - Yeah. 92 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:06,467 Yeah... 93 00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,867 Okay. 94 00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:10,900 So, if you thought I was the cleaner, why'd we hug for so long? 95 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,900 - Or at all? - Yeah, I know, right? 96 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,433 - So crazy. - It is crazy. 97 00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:18,233 Yeah. Why did we? 98 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,067 I don't know. Just... 99 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,933 felt like the right thing to do. 100 00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:24,867 And, you know, I thought you were the cleaner. 101 00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:26,900 So, yeah. 102 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,500 The place looks great. 103 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,267 Yeah, good job. 104 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,700 Well, no. 105 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,233 But yeah. 106 00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:41,400 So, in two days, I go home and he goes to Wollongong. 107 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,667 It's called birdnesting. 108 00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:45,000 One week on, one week off, and the kids stay in their routine. 109 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,233 Sounds intense. 110 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,167 No, raising three kids with a guy you don't love anymore 111 00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:50,200 who's trying to break into musicals, that's intense. 112 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,033 - Right. - This is just a pain. 113 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,200 So, does Meggles go home with you, or...? 114 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,500 - No, that would be weird. - Weird? 115 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,733 No, she... she goes back to her home, and then... 116 00:03:57,833 --> 00:04:00,667 And then it's back to Gordon's Halfway House for New Lesbians? 117 00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:01,567 Yeah, if that's okay. 118 00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:03,267 - Oh, mate. It's more than okay. - Okay. 119 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:04,267 - I love it. - Do you? 120 00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:05,300 How long is this arrangement gonna go on for? 121 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,467 - Well, I just... Shh! 122 00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,133 My apologies, Your Honour. 123 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:09,133 I'm not a judge. 124 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:10,700 I'm a mediator. 125 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,833 Call me Allan. 126 00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:13,333 Yes, Allan. 127 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,767 I told you, Brett, this is not a court. Why'd you bring a lawyer? 128 00:04:15,867 --> 00:04:17,400 Uh, please direct your speech towards me. 129 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,000 I will be speaking for my client. 130 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:19,967 Thank you. 131 00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:21,200 How much are you paying this joker? 132 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,767 Mum, Dad, I don't have to move out. 133 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,567 - I have squatter's rights. - That's right. 134 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:28,467 Squatter's rights don't apply here, Brett. 135 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,500 Well, we tried. 136 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,800 Can I just say at this juncture, 137 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,333 full respect on the Kevin Bacon move. 138 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:34,633 That was pretty lit. 139 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,500 Um, but please be aware that we are speaking with Grant Denyer 140 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,567 for a response. 141 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,067 Are we? 142 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:42,567 Yes. Big time, man. 143 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,600 Oh, what?! 144 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,500 Shh! 145 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,000 - You shush. You shush. 146 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:47,900 What's wrong? 147 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,133 My brother's at my house. 148 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,333 Oh. What's he doing in Sydney? 149 00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,900 He's going to Vegas tomorrow for a "conference". 150 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,333 Ugh, gross. 151 00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:55,800 Yeah, I don't need to be here for two customers. I'm going home. 152 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,233 - Are you serious? - Yes. 153 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,067 I'm not leaving Ash at home with my brother. He's a shit-stirrer. 154 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,167 He'll get me into trouble. 155 00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:02,533 - Hey, can I get a lift? Hurry. 156 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:03,500 - Hey, Brett. - Shh! 157 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,800 No! You're closing up! -What?! 158 00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:08,633 Apologies, Your Honour. 159 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,333 Sorry, it's a bit messy. 160 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,667 Yeah, but we can move all the boxes, obviously. 161 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,433 Oh, yeah, thanks, that'd be great, love. 162 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,567 I've got an urgent meeting with a slick brown dog, if you know what I mean. 163 00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,100 Oh yeah, no worries, I'll do it. -Yeah. 164 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,500 All right. 165 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:45,467 Mmm... 166 00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,733 No... 167 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:02,967 Okay, so you're the dog girl. 168 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,300 Ah, right. Yes. 169 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,567 - Ashley. - Mm. 170 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,767 Ashley. Right, okay. 171 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,567 So, you guys hanging out much? 172 00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,300 I'm his girlfriend. 173 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,800 Flashlight's got a girlfriend? 174 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,033 Fuckin' hell. 175 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,033 Yeah. Has he... 176 00:06:16,133 --> 00:06:17,333 He hasn't mentioned that? 177 00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:19,733 Huh. Are you guys exclusive? 178 00:06:20,933 --> 00:06:21,867 Yeah. 179 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:24,300 Ooh, you didn't sound too sure on that one. 180 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,367 I'd run that one by him. 181 00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,167 - He's pretty stealthy. - Is he? 182 00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:29,300 Yeah, well, they don't call him Flash for nothing. 183 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,933 "Flash Gordon," he... is what he said. 184 00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:33,700 No! 185 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,533 It's 'cause he's as flash as a rat with a gold tooth, 186 00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:36,900 that's why they call him Flash. 187 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,867 Really? 188 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:39,200 - Yeah. - Oh. 189 00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,467 Yeah, well, you know, as a happily married man of 18 years... 190 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,167 ...I've lived my entire fantasy life vicariously through my brother. 191 00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,300 So. - Right... 192 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,367 But don't worry, he doesn't send me pics. 193 00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:53,900 Anymore. 194 00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:55,733 Not of you. 195 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:56,933 - Yet. 196 00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:57,900 Hello. 197 00:06:58,733 --> 00:06:59,800 Flashlight! 198 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,933 - Hey. Hey, Colin. 199 00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,967 I'm just going upstairs for a bit. -[Gordon] Oh, okay. 200 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,567 How's it going? - Mate, what's going on? 201 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,100 You never confirmed whether or not you were coming. 202 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,467 Oh, "confirmed". 203 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,567 What, I'm your brother. What, I gotta announce myself? 204 00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,233 - Yes, mate, you do. - Oh, come on. 205 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,433 Oh, Heavy, you loser. 206 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,267 Chi-Chi, what's going on, you bogan? 207 00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:16,433 A lot. - Hey? 208 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,367 What's going on? Why'd Ash go upstairs? 209 00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:19,867 I don't know. 210 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:21,633 You never told me she was your girlfriend, hey. 211 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:22,800 Nice. 212 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,367 Send us a pic, you cunt. 213 00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,100 Hi. 214 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,300 Hey. 215 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,433 You okay? 216 00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:35,533 Yeah. 217 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,367 Thanks for making room for Heavy. 218 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,233 No worries. 219 00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:41,967 Cool. 220 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,933 Bit of a full house tonight. Wish it was just us. 221 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,700 Oh well. 222 00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:50,367 So, you're not mad? 223 00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,467 Should I be mad? 224 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,100 Nup. No. 225 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,433 All good. 226 00:07:58,233 --> 00:07:59,767 Oh, quick-- just while I've got you. 227 00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:01,167 Yeah? 228 00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,400 Are we exclusive? 229 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,567 Yes-- what do you mean? Yes! 230 00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:05,600 Of course we are. 231 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,300 You-- you live here, Ash. What...? 232 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,167 Why? 233 00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:09,267 No, nothing. Nothing. 234 00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:10,900 Just... just wondering. 235 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,900 Yeah, Ash, of course. 236 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,233 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 237 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,067 You look beautiful, by the way. 238 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,067 What is that you put on? 239 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,167 Just now? Um... 240 00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,233 Mascara. 241 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,800 It's pretty. - Thank you. 242 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,500 Like your dress. 243 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,300 It's a skirt and a top. 244 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,933 Right, yeah. No, it's good. 245 00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,033 Is it new, or...? 246 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,833 - Nup. Nup? 247 00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:38,500 Have you lost a bit of weight? 248 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,867 Nope. 249 00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,267 Not that you needed to. 250 00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:43,433 Not that you do need to, or that you did need to if you have. 251 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:45,733 But if you haven't, you look great now. 252 00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,767 Like, you don't need to lose-- But it doesn't matter! 253 00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:49,467 Like, you look great to me at any weight. 254 00:08:49,567 --> 00:08:51,900 Like, you could balloon and I'd be fine. 255 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,300 Like, you could... you could get massive 256 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,333 and I'd be fine. 257 00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,700 Because it's about... 258 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,367 But it's also, like, you could afford to put on a little bit, 259 00:08:58,467 --> 00:08:59,400 and I could, you know... 260 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,567 Not that you need to! 261 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:01,600 But-- and you don't need to, like-- 262 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,033 - Can you get out?! - Yeah. 263 00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:05,833 Yeah, so, look, I'm not condoning what he did. 264 00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:07,400 Oh, good. - But the music's undeniable. 265 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,833 Hey. Hey, you fucked me here. What did you say to her? 266 00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:11,267 - What? - What did you say? 267 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,667 Mate, if she starts on you, it's got nothing to do with me. 268 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,067 Heavy, you're here for fuckin' five minutes-- 269 00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:17,467 Hello! -Oh, Jesus fuckin' Christ, what now? 270 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,100 Hey, man. - Is the door open or something? 271 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,067 Nah. Rock key. 272 00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,667 Okay, that's it. No more rock key. -Hey. 273 00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,633 - Oh, Gordy. Gordy. - What? 274 00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:24,567 I can't go home. 275 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,967 You can't stay here, mate. We're full. 276 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,067 Well, can I just hang? 277 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,567 You know, figure out my next move? 278 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,067 Mediation's not gone great. 279 00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:31,800 Yeah, mate, that's because your "lawyer" is a fuckin'-- 280 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,133 Hey. Hey, Justin. 281 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:34,400 Good thanks, Mother. 282 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,133 Mate, I want to help you. I'll... 283 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,467 - Where is he going? - Dunno. 284 00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:39,733 No, hang on, mate. 285 00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:40,933 No, no. Oi! 286 00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,567 What the fuck?! Come here, friend. 287 00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:44,500 Is this your en suite, mate? 288 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,700 So, um... 289 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,867 How do you fit into this jigsaw puzzle, Meggles? 290 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,867 Uh, well, a couple of ways. 291 00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:57,900 Holy shit! 292 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,300 Oh! I love it! I love it! 293 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,233 Yup. 294 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,667 Does Andre know? 295 00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,033 Yeah, of course. 296 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:05,467 Right. Okay. 297 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,767 So just completely gone off solids? 298 00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,300 - Wow. - Fuck you're a loser. 299 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,800 - What? - Heavy, you're a fuckin' loser. 300 00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:12,567 No wonder you always knocked me back. 301 00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,933 Oh, that wasn't the reason, son. 302 00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:15,967 Gross. 303 00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,333 Charcuterie? 304 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,933 Whoa! -[Chiara] It's Wednesday afternoon. 305 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,800 - Is it? - Yeah. It's... 306 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:22,800 - It's Wednesday. Yeah, no. 307 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,233 I appreciate the presentation. 308 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,233 - We're not gonna... Yeah. 309 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,833 - That's a hard pass. - No, thank you, but no. 310 00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:28,567 - One, two, three. No. 311 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,100 Mmm... Or, unless you guys are...? 312 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,067 No? 313 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:46,733 Can I say something? 314 00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,867 Yeah, speak your truth, Bretty. -Of course, Bretty. 315 00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:51,300 I think you guys are awesome together, 316 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,167 and I really think you're actually made for each other. 317 00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,500 Aw, Bretty. 318 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,833 It's early days. 319 00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:58,667 - What? Mm? 320 00:10:58,767 --> 00:10:59,767 What do you mean? 321 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,400 Oh, no. I mean that's so sweet, Bretty. 322 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,367 Are you not feeling it? You can be honest. 323 00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:08,200 Meggles, I'm feeling it. 324 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,067 It's just... it's just a lot 325 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,533 with Andre and the kids... 326 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:13,500 It's pretty new. 327 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,267 Yeah, I know. I feel that. I feel all that. 328 00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:18,467 I... I feel like a homewrecker. 329 00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:19,900 Hey. 330 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,867 You're not a homewrecker. 331 00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:23,733 If anything, I'm the homewrecker. - 332 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,367 No, I'm the one who's breaking their wedding vows. 333 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:27,500 Hey. 334 00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:29,500 We're all homewreckers. 335 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:32,300 Just... in different ways. 336 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,033 Yeah. 337 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,433 You know, that's the mistake I made. 338 00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:40,267 I got married way too young. 339 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,667 Mm. - Right? 340 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,433 Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and kids, but there's just... 341 00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:46,267 There's just nothing going on there anymore. 342 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:47,500 You know? 343 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,633 Like, the other day, 344 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,300 Katie bent over in her undies. 345 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,900 And I thought, "Revolting." 346 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,500 Whoa. Did you? You know? 347 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,900 Yeah. I know it's fucked up, 348 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,833 but, see, that's where I'm at. 349 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,300 - Right now. Right? Right... 350 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,700 So, what my point is... 351 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,767 Yeah, what is your point? 352 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,533 Is that I'm the fuckup, not Flashlight. -Yes. 353 00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:05,067 There we go. -Right? That's what I'm trying to say. 354 00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,533 - Good point well made. - Cool, cool, cool. 355 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:07,933 Right. - So, but what was that stuff 356 00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:10,933 that you were saying about Gordon being stealthy? 357 00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,367 Oh, no, it was nothing. It's nothing. 358 00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:14,900 He's... he's just a charismatic guy with a couple of moves. 359 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:15,933 Well, what moves? 360 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,300 No, nothing. No moves. 361 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,933 You know me, I don't have... I got nothing. 362 00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:20,267 - I've got no moves. - Ah. 363 00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,933 - The "I own a brewery." - Yes. 364 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,567 - That's my one move. - Yeah, it's a good move. 365 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,567 Yeah, well, and the "I'll kiss you in six minutes" move. 366 00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,900 What? What are you talking about? That's your fuckin' move. 367 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,300 - What is it? - It's not really a move. 368 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,700 What is it? - I don't know. 369 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,000 - Okay, all right. All right. It's nothing, it's nothing. 370 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,333 What he'd do, 371 00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:37,200 he used to give chicks a six-minute warning before he kissed them. 372 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,367 Ah. 373 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,067 - Sounds pretty rapey. 374 00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:41,067 Well, that does. 375 00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:42,300 It was just... it wasn't that. 376 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,333 It was just a fun, flirty thing I did a couple of times. 377 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,533 Yeah, well, more than a couple. 378 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,400 It wasn't a move. 379 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,533 - So do the move. - No. 380 00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:49,600 Do it! Do it, Flash. - Do it. 381 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,800 - I'm not doing the move. - Do the move. 382 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:51,867 - Why? Do it. 383 00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:54,200 I want to see the move. -Don't @ me. 384 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,600 See, if I can't see it, 385 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,467 I'm only gonna imagine it's a form of sexual assault. 386 00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:00,133 It's not a form of sexual assault! 387 00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:02,400 Okay, fine. Okay, fine, I'll do it. -Okay. 388 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,033 Okay? Okay, I'll do the fuckin' move. -[Heavy] Do it. 389 00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,367 - Can't wait. - Jesus. 390 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:06,467 - Okay, so-- Stand up. 391 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:07,833 Yeah, do it properly. Come on, come on, come on. 392 00:13:07,933 --> 00:13:08,900 Okay, fine. 393 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,100 Properly.-Right, okay, so I get to a party, okay? 394 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,100 And only if I'm feeling a vibe... 395 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,000 Right. 396 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,533 ...I'd say to the girl, "So, 397 00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:20,133 I'm gonna kiss you in six minutes." 398 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,467 "So, if you have anything that you wanna do 399 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:22,767 between now and then, be my guest, 400 00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:24,267 and I'll meet you back here." 401 00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:26,600 - Okay? 402 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,600 I don't know. That... it's creepy-adjacent. 403 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,400 Yeah, well, we're out of context here and it was years ago. 404 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,700 Yeah, not aged well. 405 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,067 Well, come on, Ash, what about you? You must have some moves. 406 00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:40,567 Oh, um... 407 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:43,467 Just one. The... the nipple flash. 408 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,700 Ah! That's a good move. 409 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,067 That's not really a move though. 410 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,700 That... that just happened one time. 411 00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:51,800 Did it? 412 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,533 - Didn't it? - Didn't it? 413 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,500 Did it? - Did it? 414 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,000 Dunno. 415 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:57,933 Didn't it? 416 00:13:58,033 --> 00:13:58,933 Fuck no. 417 00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,933 I did it all through my twenties. 418 00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:02,900 Got free drinks, whatever. It's... 419 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,500 Friends would say it's my signature move. 420 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,500 - Yeah. Wow. 421 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,667 Smart. Clever girl. 422 00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:07,567 Thrifty. 423 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:08,567 Thank you. 424 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,167 Well, come on. Come on. Do the move. 425 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,467 No! Fuck no. 426 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,500 No, no, it's... fair's fair. She's gotta do the move. 427 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,100 You did your move. Now she's gotta do her move. 428 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,167 - No! Fair's fair. 429 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,633 - Fair is not fair. Fair is fair. 430 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,767 She's not-- You're not doing the move. -[Ashley] Why not? 431 00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:21,000 Okay. - Because... 432 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,133 Because... because... 433 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:23,733 * Because, because 434 00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:25,800 ♪ Because of the wonderful Tits she has ♪ 435 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,433 ♪ Ba-diddily-diddily-dun 436 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,767 - That was good. - Ridiculous. 437 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,733 - Give it to me. Yeah? 438 00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,467 All right, don't leave me hanging. 439 00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:33,433 I'm not gonna do the move. 440 00:14:33,533 --> 00:14:34,433 Obviously. 441 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,133 Oh, boo! - Not boo! 442 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,667 - I'm gonna get some drinks. - Shut it down. 443 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:40,300 Ah, do you mind getting us some beers? Hey, sweetheart? 444 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,367 - Yeah. Yeah. 445 00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,867 Meep. 446 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,167 Whoa! 447 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,700 - Wow. - No, not wow. 448 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,867 She's fun. 449 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,300 That's in there. 450 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,567 No, it's not. 451 00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:53,567 That is in there. 452 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:54,700 - No, it's not in there. Oh? 453 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,100 - Get it out. - It's deep in the bank, mate. 454 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,933 Well, take it out of the bank. -Deposit made. 455 00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,833 - It's a withdrawal, mate. - That's a term deposit. 456 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,133 No, fuckin' close the account, 457 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,733 we're kicking you out of the bank, we're closing your account. 458 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,100 Fuck, I'm glad you're here. 459 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,533 And that's what I feel sometimes. 460 00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:14,267 Like, I like you so much, 461 00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:17,233 but sometimes, I feel that you're not as into me 462 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,333 as much as I'm into you. 463 00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:19,867 Is that too intense? 464 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:21,533 No, it's so good. It's so good. 465 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:22,767 Meggles. 466 00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:25,167 You are so beautiful. 467 00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,333 No, you are. 468 00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,467 And I'm so grateful for you being there for me. 469 00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:33,733 It's just I don't know if I'm quite ready for the full thing. 470 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,633 And you're the full thing. 471 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,733 Okay, is the door still open to Andre? 472 00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:37,667 Mm. 473 00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:38,967 I don't know. 474 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,467 No, I don't think so. 475 00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:41,533 But... 476 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,600 Baby, is this hard for you to hear? 477 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,533 Nup. 478 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 You know what? It's... It's not, actually. 479 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,900 Because you've taught me so much about myself. 480 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,700 And you have taught me so much about myself. 481 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,800 You know, this is some evolved shit. 482 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,967 - Women are amazing. Mm. 483 00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,733 And you're amazing, Bretty. 484 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,433 Mm, we are. We are all amazing. 485 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,167 We should hang out more. 486 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:07,200 Oh, we really should. Yes! Yes! 487 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:10,867 Oh, good on you, Ash. 488 00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,733 Who's ready? 489 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,300 Thank you. 490 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,900 No worries. 491 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,433 - That one's for you. - Ta. 492 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:20,233 Mm. - Cheers. 493 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,967 - Cheers. Cheers. 494 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:22,967 - Bottom's up. Yup. 495 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:25,400 Mm. 496 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,500 What is that? 497 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,567 What is that? 498 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,800 Ah, you don't recognise her? 499 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,333 No, I do. She's definitely one of mine. 500 00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:33,567 She is, correct. 501 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:36,233 Ah... it's a creamy. 502 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,267 - Mm-hmm. - It's like... it's like... 503 00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,267 It's like, it's... it's almost like, ah... 504 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,700 Like Cathy. 505 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,100 Like Cathy Cream Your Jeans Ale. 506 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,200 - Is this Cathy? - Yeah. 507 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,067 - I've only got one of her. I know. 508 00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:50,100 Enjoy. 509 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,967 Ash, what the...?! 510 00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:54,733 Ash, this is a very exclusive beer run. 511 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,133 - Yeah. - Why did... why have you...? 512 00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:57,267 Oh, why, why? 513 00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,667 Why did you name beers after girls you've slept with 514 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:00,967 and then keep them in your closet? 515 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,600 Bit off, isn't it? 516 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,700 So, who have I got? -Oh, you've got Melanie's Melons IPA. 517 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,800 Oh, I remember her. 518 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,600 Ash, it's not about the girls, it's about the beer. 519 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,867 But it isn't about the beer, is it? 520 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,400 Because you're not drinking them, so they're just trophies. 521 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,800 No, no, no, they're not trophies. 522 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,133 Did you sleep with them? 523 00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,867 - All of them. 524 00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:19,933 Is that a problem? 525 00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:21,333 Only if you can't let them go. 526 00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:23,533 Of course I can let them go. 527 00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,300 Then great, cheers, drink up, everybody. 528 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,467 No, no, no! 529 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:31,000 No, Ash, Ash. I created these beers years ago, right, 530 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,533 in response to where I was at in my life at that time. 531 00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,033 These mean something to me. 532 00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:38,467 It's like, oh, should Leonard Cohen have deleted "So Long Marianne" 533 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,000 when he started seeing Suzanne? 534 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,233 You're not Leonard Cohen, Gordon. -You're missing my point. 535 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:44,467 Fine. Whatever. You know what? 536 00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:46,200 If they bother you so much, I'll just take them to work. 537 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,200 And speaking of work, 538 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,867 "Chiara's Cans." 539 00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,533 "Way more than a mouthful." 540 00:17:51,633 --> 00:17:52,733 Classy, mate. 541 00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:53,633 Mm! 542 00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:55,233 Yum. 543 00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,333 That's not on, mate. Disappointing. 544 00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,500 Heavy. 545 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,633 On behalf of the Crapp family, I'd like to apologise. 546 00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,067 Shut up, mate. 547 00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,900 I'm so sorry... 548 00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,300 So sorry we domesticated you. 549 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,667 Okay. 550 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,467 Ballpark, what am I dealing with here? 551 00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,000 What is your number? 552 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,133 - What? -"What"? 553 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,667 How many people have you slept with? 554 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,200 Oh, shit, here we go. 555 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,433 I'll go first. 556 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:36,933 Nine. 557 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,700 Oh, this year? Less than nine. 558 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,733 No, Gordon. My whole life. 559 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:41,867 Oh. 560 00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,567 Oh, well, you're setting me up to fail. 561 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,133 This is quality. 562 00:18:45,233 --> 00:18:46,433 Quiet, Heavy. Don't. 563 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,900 Ash, I-- I lost my virginity when I was 16. 564 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:50,967 So? 565 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,133 - Twenty? 566 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,567 Not saying anything. 567 00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,867 - Fifty? - Oh... I run a bar, Ash. 568 00:18:57,967 --> 00:18:59,200 Okay. Seventy-five? 569 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,333 - Getting warmer. - Heavy! 570 00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:02,433 - Shut the fuck up! - Don't look at him. 571 00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:04,333 - I want you to look at me. - Yeah, I am. 572 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,067 One hundred? 573 00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,367 Oh, who keeps track? 574 00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:09,967 More than 100 women?! 575 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,000 And that's a magnificent hundred! 576 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,333 No, no, no. No more than a hundred. 577 00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:16,000 - Are you sure? Yes, I am. 578 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,933 Oh, look, I don't know the exact number 'cause I'm not a serial killer, 579 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,933 but, but definitely no more than... than... 580 00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:23,967 a hundred. 581 00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,333 A hundred... hundred women. 582 00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:27,767 I don't even know who you are anymore. 583 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,000 - Yes, you do. Ash. Ash... This is wild. 584 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,833 This is... oh my God, this isn't... 585 00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,833 You know what? Let's do the maths. Let's do the maths. 586 00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,200 Oh, please. -[Gordon] No, no, no, let's do it. 587 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,067 Because I'm 42 now, right? Okay? 588 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,433 I lost my virginity when I was 16. 589 00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:44,167 So, 42 minus 16, okay, is 26 years sexually active, right? 590 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,433 And then 100 divided by 26 is... 591 00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:48,767 3.84! 592 00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,867 - Mm. Okay? 593 00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,467 Mm, that's actually pretty low. 594 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:56,000 Yeah. 3.84 women per annum doth not a prowler make. 595 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,367 That's, like, less than one a season. 596 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,167 But it does add up, though, doesn't it? 597 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,233 It's probably time to start settling down, mate. 598 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,133 Oh, should I, mate? Oh, okay, mate. 599 00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:06,800 I don't think I'll take relationship advice 600 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:11,400 from a guy who's definitely paying for sex in Vegas this weekend definitely. 601 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,500 Hey! 602 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,033 That's a fuckin' low blow, bro. It's a conference. 603 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,233 Penis conference. 604 00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:19,200 - Hey! Yeah? 605 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,333 I like to fuckin' joke around, all right? 606 00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:23,233 But you know Katie is my life. 607 00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:24,333 All right? 608 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,400 I'd take a fuckin' bullet for that woman. 609 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,600 All right, I'm sorry. Just leave it. Just leave it. 610 00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:33,400 Hey, back on Melanie's Melons, I've seen your cans 611 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,533 and they're much nicer shape-wise. 612 00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:37,433 - Stop it! Well, it's true! 613 00:20:37,533 --> 00:20:39,067 Just say something nice about your girlfriend. 614 00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:40,600 Girls like that, all right? 615 00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,667 Thank you, Heavy. 616 00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:45,700 That's all right. Gordon. 617 00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:11,133 ♪ Hey, baby 618 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,933 ♪ Oh, what a world you're gonna see ♪ 619 00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:22,633 ♪ Joyrides in flying cars... ♪ 620 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,467 Okay, yeah. I'm coming now. 621 00:21:33,867 --> 00:21:35,300 All right, all right, all right. 622 00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:39,700 Oh, whoa, Andre. 623 00:21:40,267 --> 00:21:41,367 Is Chiara here? 624 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,667 Uh, Chiara... 625 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,200 - Oh, no. No. - Okay. 626 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,167 I know she's here. 627 00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,767 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. 628 00:21:46,867 --> 00:21:48,100 Yeah, hey, Chi? 629 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,233 Chiara! 630 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,533 God. Good morning. 631 00:21:54,633 --> 00:21:55,500 What time is it? 632 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,200 Ten past nine 633 00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:58,633 on Ernie's birthday. 634 00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:01,867 Oh my God! Ernie! Happy birth-- 635 00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,867 No, no, no, no, no. Not "happy birthday, Ernie", is it? 636 00:22:03,967 --> 00:22:06,700 'Cause his mum's been fuck knows where doing... 637 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,167 Well, what were you doing last night, Chi? 638 00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:11,233 Because there is a naked person over on the couch over here. 639 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:12,933 Oh! 640 00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:14,233 I don't know who that is. 641 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,700 Are you going to come back to your actual life at some point? 642 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,533 -[Andre] You're perimenopausal, Chi! 643 00:22:19,633 --> 00:22:21,367 You're not some kid kicking around in your twenties 644 00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:22,333 trying to figure out your-- 645 00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,633 You're already meant to have done that 646 00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:35,133 and made a decision, which you did, 647 00:22:35,233 --> 00:22:38,067 and now you have a family. 648 00:22:38,167 --> 00:22:41,867 But should we just all just disappear now because 649 00:22:41,967 --> 00:22:44,167 you have a girlfriend? 650 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:48,700 We had a birthday dinner for Ernie last night and it was really great. 651 00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:50,267 And I gave him his bike. 652 00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:51,133 That was actually from both-- 653 00:22:51,233 --> 00:22:52,400 And he can tell you all about it 654 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,433 because your week with him started an hour ago, 655 00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:56,567 and now I'm late for my voiceover. 656 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,567 And great, I've been yelling. 657 00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:01,033 Goodbye. 658 00:23:01,133 --> 00:23:02,267 And Chi? 659 00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:03,400 Could you tell Gordon 660 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:08,200 I've always thought he was an absolute cock! 661 00:23:10,967 --> 00:23:12,133 Hey, guys! 662 00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,267 So, I've been thinking, 663 00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:22,367 both as a doctor and as your girlfriend, 664 00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:23,467 um, 665 00:23:23,567 --> 00:23:25,733 I'm gonna need you to get a sexual health checkup 666 00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:26,967 as soon as you can. 667 00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:29,167 Are you joking? 668 00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:31,033 It's not unreasonable. 669 00:23:31,133 --> 00:23:33,067 Gordon, when was the last time you got a checkup? 670 00:23:34,733 --> 00:23:35,900 Ash, I get regular checkups. 671 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,633 But when? When was the last time? 672 00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:39,000 Oh, um... 673 00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:40,333 Um...? 674 00:23:40,433 --> 00:23:43,000 Right. So, probably time to get a... 675 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,467 a thorough check. 676 00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:46,700 Yeah. Okay. Yep. 677 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,600 - That's fair enough. - Thank you. 678 00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:50,467 And you'll start seeing a therapist, will you? 679 00:23:52,233 --> 00:23:53,233 What? 680 00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:55,867 About the nipple-flashing male-attention thing? 681 00:23:56,467 --> 00:23:58,200 - Excuse me? - Just asking the question. 682 00:23:59,567 --> 00:24:01,533 That's not the same thing. 683 00:24:01,633 --> 00:24:06,200 That is not okay to ask me that at all. 684 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,733 Right, so you can ask me to get a raft of tests, 685 00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:11,000 but I can't ask you to look at your thing. 686 00:24:11,833 --> 00:24:14,900 Your sexual health affects me directly. 687 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,433 And your mental health doesn't affect me directly? 688 00:24:17,533 --> 00:24:19,100 it does! 689 00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:22,567 What, we can't talk about it? 690 00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:23,867 Ugh! 691 00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:26,633 Yep. We can talk about it. 692 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,700 And hey, how about while I'm there, 693 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,233 I'll unpack how it's pretty hard to feel special 694 00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:35,133 with a guy who has slept with at least 100 women! 695 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,400 - Ugh! - Ah, 3.84. But anyway. 696 00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:44,867 You talk about how it might be time to grow up, yeah? 697 00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,567 How about you take your own advice, 698 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:47,967 stop being so selfish, 699 00:24:48,067 --> 00:24:49,967 and just get the fucking checkup! 700 00:25:14,433 --> 00:25:16,500 ♪ Oh 701 00:25:17,967 --> 00:25:20,833 ♪ I've heard it said before 702 00:25:20,933 --> 00:25:27,200 ♪ That youth is like a hallway To a door ♪ 703 00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:32,033 ♪ I burst through it 704 00:25:32,133 --> 00:25:35,133 ♪ Wild seeds in the ground 705 00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:41,933 ♪ I threw them all around With blind abandon... ♪ 706 00:25:42,033 --> 00:25:44,633 Ash, I need your help with a patient in Bed 5. 707 00:25:44,733 --> 00:25:45,733 No, I've gotta do something-- 708 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:47,567 No, I covered you with the weird guy's toenails. 709 00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:48,833 You owe me. 710 00:25:48,933 --> 00:25:50,000 Come on. 711 00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,133 Oh, fuck. Quickly. 712 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,867 I should probably warn you, this guy's pretty handsy. 713 00:25:57,967 --> 00:25:59,433 No, what? 714 00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:05,667 Now, he wouldn't tell me exactly what he did, rude, 715 00:26:05,767 --> 00:26:07,800 but he clearly fucked up 716 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,933 and he seems to be repentant, so. 717 00:26:11,033 --> 00:26:12,200 Does he now? 718 00:26:17,733 --> 00:26:18,700 What are you doing? 719 00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:21,933 Ash, the fact that you feel anything less 720 00:26:22,033 --> 00:26:23,733 than the most special thing to me 721 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,367 is 100% my fault 722 00:26:25,467 --> 00:26:28,700 because I've honestly never felt about anyone 723 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,967 the way I feel about you. 724 00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,067 - Really? Really. 725 00:26:33,167 --> 00:26:36,400 And if they had of sold a, "I'm a big old dickhead" balloon... 726 00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:39,167 "I'm a big old dickhead that's slept with too many women." 727 00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:40,500 Yes! I would have got that one. 728 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,767 But they said it was just too much text. 729 00:26:44,033 --> 00:26:45,233 So, that... that's all that I got. 730 00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:47,700 It's probably not appropriate for a hospital anyway. 731 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,300 That's what they said. 732 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,367 I'm sorry. 733 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:52,800 I'm really sorry. 734 00:26:55,867 --> 00:26:59,267 Ugh, I really wanted to stay angry. 735 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,533 Ugh, I get that. 736 00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:02,633 No, I was... I was powerfully angry. 737 00:27:02,733 --> 00:27:05,200 Like, I was getting a lot done. 738 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:06,300 - Were ya? - Yeah. 739 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,867 I'm so sorry. 740 00:27:07,967 --> 00:27:10,000 And I am so sorry. 741 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,933 You are an idiot. 742 00:27:21,033 --> 00:27:22,933 Yeah, I know. 743 00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:24,800 But, an idiot with flowers and a balloon. 744 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,433 This is amazing. - It's a boy. 745 00:27:28,467 --> 00:27:30,000 And I've... I've got to get back to work. 746 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:31,667 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? 747 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:33,967 I came here for a sexual health check. 748 00:27:34,067 --> 00:27:35,233 - No, I... well... - Yeah. 749 00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:36,367 Gene said. 750 00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:38,233 - Did he? - He said you were the best. 751 00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:39,367 Oh, I'm pretty good. 752 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,000 I'm sure you are. However, I would like to get a third party in here 753 00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:43,633 because I don't feel completely comfortable 754 00:27:43,733 --> 00:27:45,500 being alone in a cubicle with you. 755 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,033 Oh, you'll be right, mate. 756 00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:48,167 Done plenty of these. 757 00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:49,133 Oh... 758 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,000 I don't know. This is... -[Ashley] No, no. 759 00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:53,533 Drop your dacks. 760 00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:56,433 Have you seen, ah, the TV show Embarrassing Bodies? 761 00:27:56,533 --> 00:27:57,800 No. 762 00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:59,267 Check it out. All right, I'll be the patient, all right? 763 00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:00,367 - You be... you just say... Okay. 764 00:28:00,467 --> 00:28:01,600 What's going... What can I look at? 765 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:03,133 What can I help you with, love? 766 00:28:03,233 --> 00:28:05,100 Um, well, I've actually got a little sort of-- 767 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,000 I've been ashamed of it for 58 years, but I was never... 768 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:09,333 never wanted to come to my doctor about it, 769 00:28:09,433 --> 00:28:10,667 so I thought I'd come on national tele-- 770 00:28:10,767 --> 00:28:12,367 international television 771 00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:13,767 and shave a pustule. 772 00:28:13,867 --> 00:28:15,567 I've got some pustules here if you... 773 00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:18,667 Ooh, if you get me to squeeze them, they all come out everywhere. 774 00:28:18,767 --> 00:28:21,133 See? Ooh, it hurts a bit! 775 00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:22,600 But I don't mind it as well. 776 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:24,033 What's... what's wrong with me? 777 00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:25,833 All right, sign this form for clearance. 778 00:28:25,933 --> 00:28:26,967 All right. 779 00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:28,700 But this is all free, yeah?